I took the photos in March.
I didn't open Lightroom until May.
Not because I forgot. Because I was afraid of what I would see.
I had already decided — before I even looked — that the images weren't good enough. That I wasn't good enough.
When I finally sat down and opened those files, the list started immediately.
My shoulders look too big. Mega pores. The lines between my eyebrows. Puffy round cheeks. The shadow on the side of my nose. I look old. The chicken skin texture on my arms — I inherited that from my father. The skin tags. My teeth. My unshaped eyebrows.
One thing after another.
And then I stopped.
Because I realized — I simply cannot keep bullying myself. I cannot guilt trip myself. I cannot shame this body that has carried me through everything.
She deserves better than that. She deserves my attention. My love. My patience.
The most important lesson I am learning right now is this:
Sit with what's uncomfortable. Notice. No judging.
Not just in photography. In all of it. My body. My story. Myself.
It's time to show her the love she truly deserves.
6/26/26
